Blogging by Dee

I know all (or most) moms feel they aren't doing a good job.  It is a normal feeling.  I just KNOW I'm not doing a good job.  My kids aren't supposed to call or text me when they need something and Daddy is in town, working from home (which is always right now.) The kids can't help themselves though.  I go get groceries and they want to come with.  I go get medications and they want to come with.  On the occasion that two are out playing with friends, the third is content to read and let me go, as Daddy is here if he needs him.  The second a kid gets home though, or a kid with the "emergency only cell phone" is out and bored, I get calls and texts that they need me.  Where am I? Today I tried to go fishing.  Take a break alone.  It was my husband's idea from my need to have breaks.  I wasn't gone two hours when kids were calling and texting me, and Dad wasn't 100 yards away! I feel like a failure that this is overwhelming me though....

So I posted this on Facebook on the drive up to the airport within an hour or so of the Mayo consult. I have let it sink in more now and am digesting it more but also in a way trying not to really think much about it until I meet with my psychiatrist on the 31st with Pete, when she should have the results typed up exactly from Mayo.  I am willing to do all they recommended, but I don't personally feel they had time to really understand me or what I'm feeling, but Pete thinks they did.  Since I am more sensitive, I will go with him and try it all.  This psychiatrist at Mayo was the head of all psychiatry and psychology at Mayo, so he must know what he's doing. From Facebook Tues July 21: Okay so I promised an update for everyone.  We are on our way home and will be home by 9:30 pm or so.   I did not get the kind of answers that in the back of my mind that I had hoped for, but we did get some ideas.  I am getting a phone call on August 13 to get registered to...

Copied from my Facebook page, as I really should have let it out here.  I've been doing better letting things like this out here than there, but my feelings got the better of me. Eye-opener today: way more people deal with mental disorders than you would believe. They just won't admit it to others or sometimes even to themselves. People wonder why there are most autistic kids now than 20 years ago? I don't think there are. They just didn't have the same diagnosis for them back then. The high-functioning angry ones were "troublemakers", high functioning tearful ones were "wimps", lower-functioning ones were just labeled a word I despise - "retarded."  But also, I'd bet you know a lot more people who have anxiety disorder, or panic disorder, or OCD, or depression, than you'd think. Those can be easier to hide than some other mental disorders and the dumb stigma makes everyone so worried what people think. And it is true, if you are vo...

http://youtu.be/FaTop0mltDQ Me. My anthem. Watch if you want.