My prayer for myself today

Today I start day one of a brand new meds (to me - it's actually not on the market anymore so it is not new to the U.S. By any means.) Depressuon meds normally take 3-6 weeks to get into one's system. I've been on next to no meds for the last few days while ramping down to get on this. 

I'm scared. I'm ashamed. I cause so many people I love so much grief, every day. I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed. I have no hope this will even work. We are only trying it because there is nothing else.

But today I am hoping for a miracle. I just want my brain fixed. I'd willingly cut off all my limbs to have my brain fixed. To be HAPPY, content, calm, OKAY.

This is my prayer today: 

Jesus Calling April 27

Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and breadth of your neediness. Your life-path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to Me for nurture. Let Me fill you up with My Presence: I in you, and you in Me.

My Power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to My Presence.

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”
—John 17:20–23

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
—Isaiah 40:29–31