I FEEL music

My son sees numbers and people in various colors. I’m a shade of purple/blue (we’ll call me Periwinkle!) My husband is brown ha ha. I know I’m not the only one but I FEEL music. I feel it in my soul somewhere. I am picking out my playlist for my ketamine treatment at 4:30 and I remembered that when I was only partially “with it” during my last infusion, I was listening to a piano piece that was just so moving that I was moving! I realized at one point that my body was swaying, moving slightly forward and back, just feeling the music so deeply.

There is one piece that many people play at weddings, and it is my favorite piece to ever play on the piano, “Canon in D” by Johan Pachelbel, that just adds and adds and builds so much emotion in it. I’ve always said if I ever play the piano again (it’s been years!) I would sit play Pachelbel’s Canon. I can see myself swaying into and away from the piano and just feeling every single note. It is both soothing and joyful, both calming and energized. I think I need to listen to calming music for my transfusion so I don’t get carried away “feeling” the music. I’ve meant to write this down but I wonder since I know this is a common thing for people to feel music, how many times Nick has walked in on a patient during a calming infusion, and they are just moving around in the chair to the calming tones of their soothing music. Hopefully I’m not the only one at least who gets that into it during my infusions. Ha ha.

This does remind me that the end of my last infusion was a good experience even if the middle was scary. I also know my first one was good. Not that the others were bad, just scarier than I had prepared for, and I am hoping for less scary this time too.

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