Sometimes I just want to be in Heaven

I read the Jesus Calling Devotional daily.  I love that they are short, uplifting, include Bible verses, and are often perfectly meaningful to me.  I also love that it is on my phone and reminds me to read it until I do!!

Today's hit me wrong though, and I have to remember that while the verses at the bottom are God's, the devotional is written by humans.  Humans just like me who can error and even not understand.

Anxiety and depression for me, causes an extreme desire for two things; 1. heaven now, and to just be with God and no longer in emotional and physical pain and 2. The extreme desire to give my family relief from the constant daily stress that is me and my struggles.

Amxoety FOR ME is not a "result of envisioning a future without (God.)" It is FOR ME, those desires above.  To just be WITH HIM, done with pain and done causing others pain.

Please understand as you read this that I am currently doing ok.  I am not in that deep, dark, black depreasion where I feel these feelings intensely.  This is just a realitic response to how I personally feel about today's devotional I read. :)

"October 17

Anxiety is a result of envisioning the future without Me. So the best defense against worry is staying in communication with Me. When you turn your thoughts toward Me, you can think much more positively. Remember to listen, as well as to speak, making your thoughts a dialogue with Me.

If you must consider upcoming events, follow these rules: 1) Do not linger in the future, because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you wander there. 2) Remember the promise of My continual Presence; include Me in any imagery that comes to mind. This mental discipline does not come easily, because you are accustomed to being god of your fantasies. However, the reality of My Presence with you, now and forevermore, outshines any fantasy you could ever imagine.

Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”
—Luke 12:22–26

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
—Ephesians 3:20–21"